RAVE: Woke up today, same as the day before.
RAVE: Breathing in and out works just great!
RAVE: Still smiling (most of the time, anyway) and finding reasons to keep doing so.
RAVE: Making other people smile and laugh and helping them enjoy life whenever and wherever I can.
RANT: I’m currently homeless — or as I like to think of it, “between homes.” Hey, it works for other things… people drive “pre-owned vehicles” now, because that’s not the same ugly thing as a “used car.” Right. Anywho…
RANT: Had a couple of different places I’ve stayed so far and been able to keep my few personal belongings with me (the rest is in storage) but I don’t know anything about tonight or after. I have several potential contacts and resources and things that might turn into places to stay, but I don’t know. The uncertainty is what kills me.
RANT: My dad still writes incredibly powerful poetry, even when he’s writing of his struggles with disowning me. Back toward the end of July he wrote that one, and I only discovered it a couple days ago when I went to show off some of his music and poetry to someone, which I do frequently. He’s done some great work, as well as his photography which he shows on his website — and I noticed that his “most recent poems” section had one called “disowned” which I figured (rightly) was about me. I have said often that I knew he’d need time to work through things, but I hadn’t really realized just how much time. I still love him, I still hope, but I don’t know how things will go.
RANT: Almost a quarter of the housing posts I’ve looked through in the bay area — at least the ones anywhere near my price range — are variations on the theme of “I’m a young single guy, offering cheap or free rent in a great area, single females only please, no dudes (duh, I’m not gay!)” They all seem to be genuine offers, posted and re-posted and posted again, and I honestly have to wonder if any of these dudes start to wonder why nobody is jumping on the offer. One post was such a gem that I had to save a copy — in just one paragraph, this guy writes how his ex is leaving in a month “maybe 2 at most” but the room is available now… that he’s “totally cool and non-judgemental” but “my ex will probably take most of my stuff so there will be room for yours if you need it”… and the kicker for me was “Don’t worry completely drama free.” Not. In the meantime, there are very few places actually available for what I can afford.
RAVE: People are still happy, beautiful creatures capable of infinite good and endless love, and we saw a small measure of that goodness with the ruling on CA Prop 8. Sure, we see people doing sad, ugly, bad and hateful things every day — sometimes we’re the ones doing, not just observing — we all have those “off days” and hard times, but that in no way diminishes our capacity for creation or lessens the impact of the joy we share. Find a way to make somebody smile today — because whether it’s 50 minutes or 50 years later, that smile will be all the difference in the world.