You can add up the parts, but you won’t have the sum.

It makes me kinda sad, honestly, seeing all the celebration that happens every time there’s some legal victory towards what gets laughingly called “equality.”

Like, look… yeah, white cis* middle- and upper-class gay folks can assimilate into the dominant power structures, woo-hoo! More “Nuclear Families” with two-point-five children to fit the existing capitalist dream, to buy a cozy apartment and fill it with stuff! They can have a wedding, and more money goes to photographers and bakers and wedding planners and whatnot — I see that argument used to support this “marriage equality” thing pretty often: see, letting gays marry is good for capitalism, therefore you shouldn’t oppose it!

And honestly I’m left wondering how this is “equality” when there are trans* women being killed so often, especially trans* women of color, when

According to the [2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey], respondents were nearly four times more likely to live in extreme poverty, with household incomes of less than $10,000. Respondents were twice as likely to be unemployed, and one in four reported being fired over their gender identity or expression. Half said they had experienced harassment or other mistreatment in the workplace. One in five respondents experienced homelessness because of their gender identity or expression, and 19% said they had been refused a home or apartment. Some 19% also reported being refused health care, and 31% reported harassment or bullying by teachers.”

So forgive me if I’m not jumping for joy at the fact that Ireland voted to let more people get married than could get married before. Forgive me if I’m not avidly following what’s up with the US Supreme Court and whatever cases are coming up with them about marriage. I get that being married is important to a lot of folks out there — because being married is the primary way that people get acknowledged as full citizens with way more rights than not being married, and since the “Relationship Escalator” is seen as the right way (and often the only way) to do things, and getting married is the top of the escalator, I understand why people want to get married.

I just think that there was a serious wrong turn somewhere between “WE’RE HERE! WE’RE QUEER! GET USED TO IT!” and “Hey, we’re just like you, no need to worry, no need to fear us just because we’re gay! Love is love!” The wide acceptance for some queer folks getting married is because they’re no longer seen as a threat to the status quo, because — as mentioned above — it’s just more people willingly taking part in the same fucked-up broken money-making system. And those who won’t — or can’t — assimilate… well, we’re being murdered. We’re living on the streets. We’re unemployed. We’re here, we’re queer, you’re trying to make us disappear.

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