MFP said to me last night, “It’s nice to be able to say ‘I need a drawer or box to put all my sex toys in,’ and nobody thinks it’s a big deal.” I followed her comment with my own: “And even nicer to have that statement met with approval and understanding… Well, what else are you going to do with ’em?’ Gotta put them somewhere!”
It is nice. I forget sometimes just how wonderful it is to be generally surrounded by folks who are comfortable with sex, with their own sexuality, with honest and frank discussions about fucking…
…Until I’m smacked by an encounter with someone who reminds me that the mere mention of having sex is “OMG, TMI!” and prompts me with the stunned question “why would you tell me that?”
I mean, when I think about it, “Hey, I didn’t pick up or respond to your text messages because I was busy having sex” is — to most people — an incredible overshare. But for me, sex is just one of many things I do with my body. If I tell you “Oops, I missed your call — I was on the treadmill at the gym,” or “hey, it took me a bit to get back to your email, since I was in the middle of an online game with friends,” the thing I’m conveying is that I was occupied for a length of time.
It still boggles my mind that sex is somehow such a distinct and different thing from every other possible human endeavor, in the minds of so many. It’s something that We Do Not Discuss because Such Things Are Not Done. ~sigh~ I would love a world in which fucking was as freely discussed as football or fall fashion; where conversations about how the silliness of the “no white after Labor Day” rule were as common as conversations about the ridiculously small variety of vibrator motors; where chatting with a stranger at the bar on statistics about the clitoris, and speculating on future knowledge to be had was as valid a topic as — and one no less assumed to be culturally familiar than — the statistics of the starting lineup of the local sports team, their past performance, and speculations about what may yet happen.
Maybe one of these days!