I just got back last week from summer camp. I’d never been off to camp before; it wasn’t something my family ever really did, and it was pretty fucking awesome to have the experience.
Even more awesome was the fact that this wasn’t just any old summer camp — this was A-Camp… summer camp for queer women, put together by Autostraddle! Spending half a week on a mountaintop surrounded by about 300 women, none of whom were “straight,” was a wonderful and moving and awesome (in the sense of “instilling or inspiring awe”) thing. And that’s about as close as I can get to making the understatement of the century.
I came into this at the bottom of several months of working hard to convince myself that there wasn’t something fundamentally wrong with me, wondering how long I could keep from believing that I’m just unlovable, unfuckable, undesirable… and beginning to lose the battle. That all changed.
On the way to camp, MFP and I rode with a couple of women that she knew for the nearly 10-hour drive, with a stop overnight at a nice little campground. It was Again‘s car that took us there, although her friend helped out too, switching out when one of them was too tired. Again and I had been making eyes at each other, and I was flirty like I am with any beautiful woman. As we made our way up the mountain, the last stretch of road before camp, I was in the back seat across from her, and we spent those 20 minutes or more looking into each others’ eyes, smiling shyly, and finally daring to hold hands. It was sweet and beautiful, and especially nice when Again was planning to drive back home after droppig the rest of us off. She ended up staying overnight, and we promised to be in touch after I came home again.
At camp, I met Lime face-to-face for the first time. We had been chatting online before camp, and it was notjust slightly obvious that she had a crush on me; even MFP had picked up on it! Of course, it was very much mutual, and we shared more than one intimate moment. I’m sure whoever the guy was that whizzed down the hiking trail on his mountain bike enjoyed the view he got while Lime and I were out “for a hike” — I know I was a bit distracted by the view of her! The note she slipped into my hand the next day made my heart sing (and by “heart” and “sing” I mean something slightly different as well)… I have often felt the kind of lust expressed by “I want you to fuck me until I can’t remember my own name,” and was more than happy to indulge that lust. I know what it’s like to need, and to go without. While I wasn’t entirely successful on the name-forgetting front, I certainly gave it my best shot… and heard my own name screamed out countless times for that effort! It was amazing.
Then there was Poco. I think there’s only once when someone has told me that a compliment I’ve given them was, without question, genuinely the best one they’re ever received — and that was her. All I told her was that she had beautiful breasts; in a cabin of bunk beds full of queer women, many of us changed clothes without much thought to who was looking or not, and on the first night as Poco was getting into her pajamas and climbing into her bunk (right above mine) I caught a glimpse of her lovely tits, and it made me smile. Considering the last two days had been pretty rough, and I’d had almost no sleep, so her body (and her chest in particular) was a very pleasant close to my evening. Then when the first night ended up being one disaster after another, and I had even less sleep than the previous few, startng my morning with the same view was a peaceful moment among a turbulent sea of troubles. When I had the chance, I told her so, and she maintains that it’s the nicest thing anyone has said to her. Over the course of the few days of camp, we spent some time together, and some of that in bed, semi-clothed and gently touching and kissing and pleasuring each other — and we’ll be in touch again!
There was one moment during the week that I keep returning to in memory, a beautiful scene where I sat on the edge of my bunk, Poco was lying to my right with her head in my lap, Lime sat to my left holding my hand as we ran fingers up and down across our thighs, and MFP sat on the floor between my legs and I caressed her shoulders and ran my fingers through her hair. How wonderfully right it felt, to be surrounded by beauty and joy and love like that!
And now that I’ve been home a few days, I’ve had even more fun. I spent last night in bed with Again and her partner Crowbar with plans to have more fun as soon as our schedules allow!