An inebriated, lustful sonnet (or: drunk and horny poetry)

This spilled out of me a couple nights ago after 3 pints of Guinness on an empty stomach.  I figured I may as well post it to share with everyone!

Oh, why must it so often happen thus?
Libido pegged, yet lacking even means
To masturbate, and such frustrating fuss
My body makes when gazing at these screens!
Computers filled with pornographic bliss
To mock my appetite again denied
For want of lubricant, and only this
Prevents my lust from being satisfied.
But doubt ye not that choosing at my will
I’d trade away my manual company
For sweet delightful cunnilingual thrill
Or — joy of joys! — a woman pegging me!
Tonight my head on cotton gently rests
I dream instead a pair of pillow’d breasts.

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