As I’m sitting here playing with my randomized-wallpaper-changing utility, going through my “sexy naked girls” folder trying to find a pair of pictures that I like (one for each screen), I realized something.
Most of these photos, the ones with “beautiful” women, are skinny white girls, they’re studio photography, edited and oh-so-obviously posed but trying to look like “oops! Did I have a picture snapped when I was just sitting here with no clothes and touching myself? Tee-hee!”
Sure, as a blossoming young feminist, I’ve been reading plenty about privilege, about the lack of representation in every arena — not only, but definitely in pornography — of other races, body types, genders, sexual orientations, and more. Sure, I understood, on some level, that it’s a Big Fucking Problem that the images available and often thrown in your face of what “beautiful” looks like aren’t anything like you, that even the women held up as the ultimate ideal to strive for, even they are photoshopped and enhanced because even they aren’t good enough.
But tonight I really, really “got it.” I found words for my frustration at being unable to find just two beautiful women to display on my computer screen out of the thousands of pictures in this folder, as I said:
I don’t want photos of airbrushed, post-processed, blemish-free, makeup-caked girls taken with leading-edge, brand-name, professional-grade cameras and fill lighting.
I don’t want that same fucking facial expression — the one that’s supposed to say “Ohhhh, so good!” but to me just says “Oh, so what?”
I don’t want photography that sucks the soul out of a woman who might be beautiful, and leaves a plastic, packaged, profit-making product.
I want women who are beautiful, women who have been captured on film (or in pixels, with current technology) because they are beautiful and worth sharing.
I want big women, who rock their curvy bodies and aren’t being marketed as a niche fetish for losers and weirdos.
I want women with skin any color besides the narrow range of white from “porcelain” to “peach.”
I want women who might not have been assigned that gender at birth — again, not because they’re being
marketed exploited as some freak of nature, but because they’re fucking sexy, and worth being photographed showing off their sexy selves.
I want to see women who are just as gorgeous as the girls I see walking around town every day, almost none of whom even remotely resemble the ones in the majority of this collection of pictures I have.
I want to see the beautiful women who don’t go out much, the ones who are too ashamed of how they look to walk around, who sometimes believe the loud messages, the flood of lies telling them they’re ugly, telling them they’re unwanted and undesired.
I want women who might not believe how incredible they look because if someone actually tells them they’re beautiful, it must be a flattering lie to get something in return.
I want real women, real beauty, celebrating the sexiness that we naturally have. Keep the plastic, and show me some skin!