Ugh… 9PM. My body needs some fun… but I gotta wait a couple or three hours. Why? Because my parents would get all suspicious and quizzy if I went up to my room now and came back a little later. I can’t say I’m tired and going to bed, because it wouldn’t take very long for my little bit of penetration, vibration, perspiration, and invocation (that’s ass, toy, body, and Mother, in order :P) and I’d be refreshed, alert, and ready to hang around at my computer some more… then if I head back down there’s all the “I thought you were too tired to stay up any longer!” bitching and shit.
And I obviously can’t help myself feel better while I’m downstairs, it’s bad enough having to hide everything in my room — and actually hidden inside my room, where nobody else even goes — just because they don’t understand that sex is a natural part of every human experience, and they think that instead of finding a healthy outlet for those basic needs and desires, everybody should crush and suppress an entire portion of themselves, hoping that if you hide it long enough, it will go away. They truly believe that if you deny yourself any sexual experience, and keep your emotions and feelings about your body locked away for long enough, that you’ll stop feeling those things, you’ll stop wanting any pleasure. That’s like saying that if you forget about being hungry, and stop eating food or drinking water, and do it long enough — you won’t want food or water anymore! Sure, it’s true enough, because you’ll be dead. I’m sure if you starve your sexual self long enough, that part of you withers and dies, just so much potential beauty rotting away.
Why can’t people figure out that there’s nothing unusual or improper about love, lust, and sexual hunger, that they’re just one of many aspects of humanity?
Well, I guess writing this entry has served a purpose — now I’m all pissy and irritated, don’t feel like fucking any more… maybe I’ll manage to wait until “bedtime” after all now.
Way to go, Sophia…