What a waste of a night…..

As the title says, whole fucking night was pretty worthless… it was also the whole pretty worthless night fucking.  Finally made my way up to bed, and had managed to distract myself long enough that I could take just a few moments (I thought) and get that orgasm I’d been needing all day.  Didn’t manage to accomplish anything in the early afternoon after I posted about having the house to myself, so I figured up in bed should do it (downstairs in the computer chair I couldn’t find a position where I could get my vibrator in anally, which I thought might have made things harder since I’m used to that when I play.)

Well, apparently it wasn’t to be.  Turned on my laptop, browsed through my porn collection (yes, I really do have one!) and fired up one of my favorites to play.  Started in working on myself, but wasn’t really feeling anything much… managed to watch through the full 50 minutes without any real forward progress.  Now, I should mention that I am on antidepressants, and have been for years, with very few dosage changes having been made over the last 10 years.  My current doctor is a really fun person, and when I started seeing her, one of her first goals was to decrease the various dosages if I didn’t need as much, or even stop the ones I no longer had a use for.  So when I came to my last appointment, I mentioned the side effects I’d been having, including difficulty becoming aroused, and severe difficulty reaching climax, and she suggested simply taking my pills less often — intentionally missing doses as a method of “re-enabling” my sexual performance, and it had been working wonders until tonight. Tonight I went through not only 4 videos of about 50 minutes each, but then I pulled up a few random clips from online… taking a total of close to four and a half hours with nothing physical going on — even with my ass vibe cranked up to max and moving around from time to time; and that almost always gets me there, in a hurry.

Finally gave up and decided to lament my sorry state here, but then dozed off several times while typing… it’s now quarter past 5, and I’m just finishing this post and in dire need of sleep.

Guess I should do that now…

(Edited 1:35PM the next day to add coherency to what had been a muddle of half-thoughts and terrible grammar… scary what your brain does when you’re asleep, or should be!)

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